MTV AND ALL RELATED TITLES AND LOGOS ARE TRADEMARKS OF VIACOM INTERNATIONAL INC. This movie is not that. Most people know Abraham Lincoln was really, really tall. The author of the book on which the movies is based is fictional; it's not a true story of President Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln's Treasurer had a crazy-ass name: True. Ronald Reagan came close but survived his assassination attempt—the bullet came within an inch of his heart. Dude's a hero. The whole plot sounded ridiculous, even after PPZ. It works. A great example so far is Seth Grahame-Smith’s newest novel, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Abraham Lincoln knew how to use an axe: True. “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” has the most accurate appraisal of the South in any movie treatment of it. There was a black person named Willie Johnson in Abraham Lincoln's life: True. Abraham Lincoln bravely stood up against slavery: True. The book seriously posits history, if Abraham Lincoln had been a vampire hunter. The journals go into depth about the details of Abraham Lincoln’s life from boyhood to his death. However, their true appearance is animalistic and horrifying. When faced with a tone-deaf would-be fanboy film, it's hard not to think about Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. A song that … Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. The “Vampire Hunter” film, like the book, follows Lincoln from his boyhood on the frontier through his assassination by John Wilkes Booth and — because this is a vampire story — beyond. But there are plenty of unusual stories about the 16th president of the United States that you probably didn't know—like the fact that he was the first president to sport a beard. Migration to areas thought to be safer became common. Milk sickness was also called puking fever, sick stomach, slows, and the trembles, according to the National Park Service. "Milk sickness killed many, frightened more and caused local economic crises. I Got a Story to Tell. Mary Todd Lincoln dated Stephen Douglas before she married Abraham: Surprisingly, this is true! It's commonly called "Tecumseh's Curse" because Harrison had defeated Tecumseh at the Battle of Tippecanoe in 1811. He shined Abe Lincoln's shoes, cut his hair and carried his bags. At 6 feet, 4 inches, he was the tallest president ever (if a little short for the NBA). Some 10 years later, he unsuccessfully tries to eliminate Barts but in the process makes the acquaintance of Henry Sturgess who teaches him how to fight and what is required to kill a vampire. ", First came denial ("No, this is just a subversive B-movie romp!") Abraham Lincoln had a close black advisor named Willie Johnson: False. He was like the ZZ Top of presidents, except that although he's remembered for that beard, he didn't actually have facial hair most of his life. The author so skillfully weaves historical records, with his fictional narrative, that it can be difficult to pick out which is which. [caption id="attachment_111311" align="alignright" width="220" caption="20th Century Fox"][/caption]. Probably not. He vows revenge, but fails in the attempt, narrowly escaping with his life. But leave it to Seth Grahame-Smith, the brilliant and twisted mind behind Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to take a little mystery, bend a little history, and weave an epic tale. Psychic President: Did Abraham Lincoln Foresee His Own Death? then bargaining ("Please! The death of her son William Wallace Lincoln was an emotional blow from which the already psychologically unstable woman almost didn't recover. Someone go get John Wilkes Booth on my ass and put me out of my misery right now!") [caption id="attachment_133409" align="alignleft" width="220" caption="20th Century Fox"][/caption]. The slightly longer version starts in 2010, when "Seth Grahame-Smith" (the character, not the author) gets the secret journals of Abraham Lincoln from the vampire Henry Sturges. Villages and farms were abandoned; livestock died; entire families were killed. Symptoms included loss of appetite, listlessness, weakness, vague pains, muscle stiffness, vomiting, abdominal discomfort, severe constipation, bad breath, and finally, coma, the agency said, followed by death in many cases, including this one. by Seth Grahame-Smith. This allows them to lead somewhat normal lives, dispite their sinister true nature. In the 1830s Abraham Lincoln, with the help of Iron Man's dad Howard Stark, developed a martial arts form known as Ax-Fu to battle southern slave owners who apparently were also vampires. It took me no time to read this book, I found it a fascinating way of seeing history unfold through the eyes of Abraham Lincoln (as translated by Seth Grahame-Smith) I like that the author picked Abraham Lincoln as the Buffy the Vampire-slayer of the 1800's. 'Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter': History versus Hollywood. Vampires and Abraham Lincoln would not normally be used in the same sentence. She contracted the disease from drinking the milk of cows that ate the white snakeroot plant. As Honest Abe is said to have said, "it is better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. then anger ("I'm gonna to go Russia and make a dumbass movie about Peter the Great and see how Timur Bekmanbetov feels!") In any case, Lincoln was apparently interested in deducing the meaning of dreams. With these five stages flushed through my system, I found myself asking one more: just how much of this is actually ... accurate? (being a politician and all). Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Photos. Bearded presidents are still outliers; there were only four others: James Garfield, Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Harrison, and Rutherford B. Hayes, although several had mustaches—and who can forget the mutton chops of Chester A. Arthur? Another (film) The Astrologer (film) Audition (1999 film) Abraham Lincoln might have been famous for his beard (the first ever by a president), but there's another famous beard he helped to grow: the 12-foot, 6-inch-long beard grown by Valentine Tapley. He worked as a rail splitter which means he probably really could kill all of us with his bare hands. This isn't in the movie, but I thought you'd like to know. The woman who popularized the "five stages of dying" was also right on the money in describing all that went through my mind during last night's screening of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. You are taking this all too personally. Battle vs. Abraham Lincoln (Vs. Zombies) (by Alockwood1) (An excerpt from Abraham Lincoln’s Secret Journal, wherein he tells his secret life as a vampire hunter. The History of 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter': Fact or Fiction. ebook. Henry, this following adventure I can reasonably tell you to be true… While still a boy, Abraham Lincoln loses his mother to a vampire's bite. The movie is based on that novel and the actual story is that Abraham finds out vampires are real in his 11 years of age. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, with vampires fighting in the Civil War, may be more obvious than most, but even the most carefully-crafted story, based on primary sources and taking multiple perspectives into account, should be examined as historical fiction. Abraham Lincoln: Taller Than the Average Vampire. It was a promise he kept until his death in 1910. Haunted Christmas: Yuletide Tales of Ghosts and Spirits, The Top 10 Most Mysterious Creatures of Modern Times, Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, 54 Famous Paintings Made by Famous Artists, Lincoln did witness the death of his mother. Abraham Lincoln had a BFF named Joshua Speed and lived in his General Store in Springfield: True. In 2012, the book was adapted into a film. He traveled with him to Gettysburg where he caught smallpox and died. Abraham Lincoln: Was His Mother Killed by Vampires? Furthermore Joshua Speed never colluded with vampires. Their skin attains a decayed and unnatural look, becomes unnaturally white or grey, with black veins visible beneath it. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is an impeccable example of how history can be made interesting with strategy. by Seth Grahame-Smith. It was something called milk sickness. True strength lies not in hate but in truth. then depression ("This is my fault for forwarding all those Funny or Die videos") and finally acceptance ("Okay, I guess the fight with Marton Csokas with the stampeding horses was kinda cool."). And pass the garlic.". You're an idiot. ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ – Not quite based on a true story Benjamin Walker plays Abraham Lincoln in a film with, of all things, vampires. His name was Salmon P. Chase. He never officially worked in the store, but, yeah, maybe he helped move boxes once in a while, so the "meet cute" with Mary Todd isn't that far-fetched. Abraham Lincoln instigated the Civil War to flush vampires out of the south, who were working in collusion with Jefferson Davies and feasting on black people: False. Everyone knows Abraham Lincoln was a leading vampire-slayer of his time as the movie depicts, but the ridiculous side-story about him running in politics and becoming president is obviously absurd. Cover art of the novel. Or at least, if there was, there's no actual record of it. The original article came from the Smithsonian Magazine, who noted, "the story as he told it here fits well with the facts of the case." Abraham Lincoln Reborn As A Vampire Slayer Suppose that, in 19th-century America, the forces of good and evil battled for the soul of the new republic … Lincoln's father remarried, and Honest Abe was raised by his stepmother. In reality, Lincoln did witness the death of his mother —but it wasn't vampires that killed her. Abraham Lincoln? Sophie Jones. When he finally asked someone why they were all crying, he was told it was because the president had been killed, though the person laid out wasn't him. I hate to admit this, but the book was released at the beginning of March and I could not bring myself to read anything past the title and description. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is exactly what you would expect from the title. In Hollywood, at least, Lincoln’s reputation as the Great Emancipator is safe and sound. Historians now point to Gettysburg and the simultaneous battle at Vicksburg as, indeed, the turning point in the war, but they didn't know that at the time. In "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," the 16th president is out for revenge after witnessing his own mother get killed by bloodsuckers. A ridiculous, over-the-top, and fun action-horror flick. "Ordinary settlers and their doctors found it unpredictable, untreatable and highly fatal," Dr. Walter J. Daly, dean emeritus of the Indiana University School of Medicine, wrote in the Indiana Magazine of History. Tapley was a Democrat, and he hated the Republican Lincoln so much that he swore he'd never shave again if Lincoln was elected. I've read about how Lincoln died many times now, from different sources, but I never understood why it hap The serious tone and silly premise may turn off some people, but the serious tone actually works to the films advantage and actually made the movie more fun. In "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," the 16th president is out for revenge after witnessing his own mother get killed by bloodsuckers. I'd love an energetic, campy "tall tale" movie mixing stuffy American history and cool vampires. But they don't realize just how tall. Was Abraham Lincoln really a vampire hunter? The Civil War ended at the Battle of Appomattox Court House almost two full years after Gettysburg. It is a story that can never be told. Sure, Abraham Lincoln could likely handle a few vampires, but a curse is another story. A. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter; Works based on the Amityville haunting; And Now the Screaming Starts! Fact or fiction? Sharp rows of short and/or long fangs, larger, more elastic jaws, and lengt… Nancy Hanks Lincoln died when Abraham Lincoln was 9. Storyline At the age of 9, Abraham Lincoln witnesses his mother being killed by a vampire, Jack Barts. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a fictional novel by Seth Grahame-Smith. The Battle of Gettysburg ended the Civil War: False. Abraham Lincoln had a BFF named Joshua Speed and lived in his General Store in Springfield: True. Just a week before he was shot and killed by John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln reportedly told a friend that he'd had a dream in which he walked through the White House and found everyone crying. After all, the movie, based on a 2010 book of the same title, decides that for Lincoln saving the … We all know vampires, ghosts and witches do not exist and as I said, this is a fictional novel/movie. (The President paid for his funeral expenses.). Here is a tip sheet you may want to study before you raise your hand in class and say something dumb. Analysis of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. ©2021 Viacom International Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Well, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter wasn’t the WORST thing to happen to Lincoln in a theater. And then the disease almost disappeared without any special preventive actions....Its disappearance would prove to be a consequence of the progress of Midwestern civilization and advances in agriculture.". No one should expect historical accuracy out of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. This is but one of his many unusual adventures.) In this state, their irises shine, and their eyes turn completely black, or reddish and blood shot. You should just be having fun with a B-movie: False. I mean — come on! Lincoln was the second in a long line of presidents elected in a year ending with a zero to die in office, starting with William Henry Harrison in 1840 and ending with John F. Kennedy in 1960. That's right, Abraham Lincoln was a true crime author! Mary Todd Lincoln shotgun blasted the Vampiress who murdered her son in badass slow-motion: False. Was Abraham Lincoln the Victim of a Curse? “Without death,' he answered, 'life is meaningless. 01-03-2018, 09:40 AM #29 Now, I'm no presidential historian but I'm pretty sure that some of the stuff that wasn't supposed to be, you know, a joke, didn't actually happen. He never officially worked in the store, but, yeah, maybe he … Boss Level. Abraham Lincoln was childhood chums with a black boy named Willie Johnson: False. They should be making movies about him. Somehow it just fits. centered around the hidden diary of Abraham Lincoln, which was given to the author of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Seth Grahame-Smith by the vampire Henry Sturges. Nancy Hanks Lincoln died when Abraham Lincoln was 9. James Speed attended (wait for it) Transylvania University!!!! Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter isn’t a movie to really be taken seriously, but more of a film to sit back and just turn your brain off and laugh at the whole thing. ebook. James Speed colluded with vampires: False, but not as false as you might think! However, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was written by Seth Grahame-Smith and was published by Grand Central Publishing in 2010. The Union war department collected silver and shipped it down to the front for its vampire-slaying properties: False. The Bible has little to say about this enigmatic trio. Even though I'm vastly interested in history, reading huge textbooks or listening to commentaries still makes me sleepy. His great height meant that even when he was sitting down, he was as tall as the average person—or vampire—standing up. There is no attempt to cast it as some noble pursuit of the principles of freedom or as the victim of Yankee greed and aggression. Truth be told, that sounds a lot worse than vampires. His story is based on a real case from Lincoln's days as a lawyer in Illinois, but has been exaggerated slightly for dramatic effect. The author of the book on which the movies is based is fictional; it's not a true story of President Lincoln. Joshua Speed came with Lincoln to Washington and worked as his advisor: False, however his brother James Speed was Lincoln's Attorney General. Poster art for a new film telling the "true" story of our nation's 16th president: "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter." The rest of the book is the story of those journals (and some interviews and probably some notes cribbed from Wikipedia). Don't we all feel horrible for turning this into a cheap story beat now? It collected Irish. After the Civil War the surviving vampires mostly fled to Louisiana where they would go undetected for over 140 years, you can see their story in True Blood. In fact, it really wasn’t a terrible movie, as long as you watch it correctly. 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